Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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