It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize