if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize