Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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