Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
