If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize