pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
