Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
