just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize