Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
