Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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