look no pants
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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