I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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