So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
