I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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