found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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