5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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