i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
