Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
