Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
