he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
