Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Randomize
