An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize