Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
