Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
