went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
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