I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
