Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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