Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
