I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize