How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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