apparently the secret to your success is patron
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
