Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
