WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize