Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize