everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
