Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
