Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
