Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
