Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
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