my soul wont recognize me after tonight
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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