that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
