He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
