4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
