We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
