just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You need Xanax blowdarts
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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