am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize