we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
