I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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