i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
