I am puke
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
