Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
