Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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