8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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