i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
